Evening Hosts Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Program

Late-night's prominent hosts devoted the airtime criticizing President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, called the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play arrangement for the affluent.

Colbert's Pointed Take

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a mock holiday song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, checking it twice, and then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... ruins all he touches."

The focus was the controversial initiative which allows overseas individuals to buy U.S. residency for an investment of $1 million dollars, or "platinum" option for five million. An official page guarantees approval "in record time."

"A quick thought for you to affluent applicants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the program is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses looking to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choice – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The best background check the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants absolutely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the form, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Struggles

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping poll ratings during financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were mad about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to tackle cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.